My own spiritual journey began in 1999 (which is probably another few blog posts), practising Kadampa Buddhism, as well as attending evening Buddhist study classes, exploring Hare Krishna philosophies and all things sacred feminine. Who can remember my Hare Krishna days at festivals? 😍
I had an eclectic mix of spiritual beliefs and practices, but this deepened following the passing of my mum in 2022, a time that led me into a period of reflection, questioning and personal transformation.
For much of my life, anything that referenced God, Jesus or traditional religion would have pushed me away. At that stage of my journey, it simply didn’t resonate with me. Over time, however, something began to change.
Through grief, life experience and a growing desire for deeper meaning, I found myself drawn towards ancient Christianity, Orthodox and Catholic spirituality, the lives of the saints, Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene, prayer, mysticism and the rich symbolism woven throughout these traditions.
I have also realised that the way faith is expressed matters deeply to me. More charismatic styles of worship, very energetic services, or approaches that feel heavily focused on preaching and persuasion have never naturally drawn me in. That is not a criticism of the people who find genuine connection with God in those spaces, but simply an acknowledgement that my own temperament is drawn towards something quieter, more contemplative and reverent.
I find myself responding much more deeply to stillness, ancient prayer, symbolism, liturgy, contemplation and the sense that faith is something to enter into slowly rather than something I need to be persuaded into. That has been another important part of understanding why Orthodox Christianity has resonated with me so strongly.
Alongside this, I spent many years exploring a wide range of spiritual, therapeutic and ♡ personal development practices. While many offered valuable insights and tools, I gradually found myself longing for something deeper than techniques alone.
I wanted something that could hold the bigger questions, not just help me feel better in the moment. I became increasingly interested in the timeless questions of faith, meaning, how we understand suffering, transformation and our relationship with Source / God.
That search for depth is one of the things that has drawn me so strongly towards Orthodox Christianity.
So far, I have found a depth within Orthodoxy that I had been looking for for a very long time, even before I fully understood what I was searching for.
There is something in its ancient prayers, theology, symbolism, reverence, mysticism, contemplation and understanding of inner transformation that feels layered rather than surface level. It does not offer quick answers or simple fixes, but instead invites a much deeper relationship with faith, humility, repentance, suffering, love and God.
Today, I continue to explore ancient Orthodox Christianity whilst also attending my local ♡ Church of England church. I am currently a student in Orthodox catechism studies to deepen my understanding of the early Christian faith.
What draws me most is the depth, wisdom, mysticism, contemplation and emphasis on inner transformation found within these ancient traditions.
While no single label fully defines me, my approach is rooted in kindness, curiosity, ♡ personal responsibility and respect for each individual’s unique path. I hold a deep appreciation for Christian spirituality whilst remaining open to the wisdom that can be found across many traditions.
The Laila Collective was created as a space where therapeutic support, spirituality, reflection, faith, symbolism and personal growth can exist side by side in a gentle and respectful way.
My intention is never to tell people what to believe, but to offer support, guidance and a safe space for exploration, healing and self-discovery.
Laila xoxo